Is It Prudent To Tell My Boyfriend About My Building Project?

My main job pays me Gh3000 for a monthly salary. Apart from that particular one, I have three part-time jobs that fetch me GhC4200 every month. I am sure you are wondering how I get time to rest amidst all this. Well, the good news is that I do my part-time jobs for eight months in a year. So the remaining four months give me time to recuperate. The unfortunate thing about that though is that I don’t get paid for the time I don’t work. This is something that strains my finances. I am a single woman with no child but I started working on a building project a few months ago so I need every pesewa I can get. This is one of the reasons I would rather work my part-time jobs throughout the year than take four months off.

Now, I started dating Henry, an older man about six months ago. He is not someone new to me. We’ve been friends for over eight years now. We were not particularly close but we were good friends. He wanted us to be together right from the moment we met but I was not okay with the age gap so I turned him down. He also did not want to lose me completely so he opted to be my friend. During the period of our friendship, I dated someone for six years. I built my entire life around him but the guy had other plans. Plans that did not include a future with me.

I was a mess when he left me. I believed no one else would love me but Henry proved me wrong. “What do you mean no man will love you again? Am I not a man? Have I not told you that I love you?” He asked. I shook my head, “But that was long ago. I am sure you have moved on by now.” He answered, “It doesn’t matter what happened between then and now. What matters is that I still love you. If you give me a chance, I believe I can try my best to make you happy.” I am now in my thirties while he is in his forties, so the age gap doesn’t seem so significant to me anymore. I know he is a good man and he will be good to me, that’s why I agreed to be with him.

He works in one of the mining companies, which means he doesn’t live in Accra. The long-distance works perfectly well for my busy work schedule, so it doesn’t bother me much. Because he drives, he is the one who makes the trip to Accra for us to spend time together. During his recent visit, I had to go to my second part-time job on a Saturday. I asked him to drop me off and he agreed. While we were on the way he complained, “This workplace is too far from where you live. Why are you doing this to yourself? All the times I came to visit, I have not seen you sitting down idly to rest. You are always checking something off your to-do list and typing busily on your computer. You are hurting your eyes and your back if you don’t give your body time to breathe. Trust me, you don’t want to wear yourself down.”

“I understand your concerns but what am I supposed to do? I need the money.” I explained. He asked me, “How much money is worth your health? Look at how far you have to go to show up for this particular job. How much are they paying you? Tell me, so that I will pay you that amount to quit.” I was surprised at his last question but I answered anyway, “I get paid GHC1500 every month.” He nodded, “Okay then quit the job. And I will pay you that amount every month.” I know the kind of man he is. He doesn’t say anything he doesn’t mean so I don’t doubt that he will pay me the money.

Besides offering me a monthly salary to quit my job, he supports me financially whenever I am in a bind. The other time, for instance, my rent expired and my landlord increased the rate. So I complained bitterly to Henry, “My landlord keeps ripping me off. The moment the rent expires, he adds almost half the amount of the previous rent to the new one. Now, what he wants me to pay is GHC2000 beyond my budget. Honestly, if this place wasn’t in the centre of all my jobs, I would have moved out.” He didn’t try to give me solutions or anything. He just listened to me rant. That’s one thing I also love about him. He doesn’t use the fact that he is older than me and more experienced in life than I am, as a reason to dismiss my feelings. He only gives me advice when I ask him to give me his counsel. Anyway, after I finished ranting about my rent he gave me GHC2000 to cover the difference.

READ MORE: How Do I Get My Boyfriend Out Of My Apartment Because Of What He Does To Me?

I couldn’t thank him enough. The only thing he said in response to my many “thank yous” was, “Although you are independent and insist on doing things for yourself, you are my woman so I will always seize opportunities to take care of you.” Yes, he said that. That’s another thing I love about him. He knows the kind of woman I am and he respects me for it. He also listens to me when I advise him. Despite the fact that he doesn’t live in Accra or have any business in Accra, I advised him to buy a piece of land in Accra and build a house on it. I told him, “Even if you won’t live in it, you can rent it out. With the high cost of rent here in Accra, you will make good money.” Not only did agree to do what I advised, but he also tasked me to find him land at a good place and lead the project.

This is where my problem lies now, Henry doesn’t know that I am working on a building project of my own. It isn’t that I set out to keep it a secret from him but it just never came up. As he has trusted me to lead his building project, I am wondering if it is prudent to tell him about mine. I don’t want him to find out later in the relationship and get the wrong idea. He may think I don’t trust him and it may cause problems for us. I really cherish this man so I want to do the right thing for our relationship. I would hate to lose him. Please, advise me.

–Afia

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